Abandoned Altars

Most clergy abuse survivors feel incredibly isolated. And usually for good reason. The abuse is often blamed on them by the perpetrators, who, standing in for God, weild shame like a bullwhip.

In the process of dealing with their memories, they isolate even more. After all, who wants to hear about this horrible stuff? And, if they ever develop the courage to speak out about their abuse, it can rip their families and communities apart.

But to recover, to move from victim to survivor and maybe even on to thriver, is hard to do alone. Humans are social animals, and derive a comfort and strength by sharing with others all out of proportion to what they put into it.

Survivors need to speak their truth, but they are often afraid of skeptic, judgmental, and all too brutal world. And psychiatrists and therapists aren’t enough. Other people who have been there and made it can make a great deal of difference in encouraging those who are just beginning to deal with all that pain and horror.

Yet survivor forums and mailing lists tend to be contentious places. Beyond the difficulties of communicating in email, clergy abuse survivors can get so easily triggered, and differing levels of recovery can make effective communications next to impossible. Without a steady hand, things can often fall apart. Indeed, recently a survivors-only forum that had been around for less than two months, messily imploded after some quite bitter and nasty exchanges.

Fortunately, there are some level heads around who are willing to help out. So, a new private mailing list, called SurvivorLink because it is ultimately descended from the Linkup list of years past, has been created. It is for survivors and few select supporters, and works by invitation only. Please see the sidebar for more information.