Abandoned Altars

In the middle of April, Pope Benedict XVI will be coming to the United States for a visit. He will hold huge public masses, meet political and religious leaders, and even address the UN.

Doubtless the sheeple will be filled with joy. But what about the rest of us?

For those not blinded by the papal aura, this pope is not an attractive figure. Aside from looking as evil as the Emperor in Star Wars, Joseph Ratzinger, whose last job was chief enforcer for the Vatican, has turned the clock back to the Dark Ages.

Gone are any dreams of a truly ecumenical Church, the ordination of women, the inclusion of gays, the use of contraception, or alleviating poverty and class injustice through inspired social activism. He’s subtly insulted non-Roman Catholics of all denominations and sure hasn’t made friends with the Muslims or the Jews, either.

Far worse than that, he has re-instituted the clergy abuse cover-up more thoroughly and repressively than ever before. Secret proceedings have begun again, enforced by automatic excommunication for anyone who breathes a word. While the most infamous offenders are thrown out of the Church, those not tainted by scandal will be kept off public offender lists and out of jail. They could wind up in a parish near you.

But fortunately, we can still express our own distaste for this holier-than-thou troll and have a little fun with it at the same time. Hence, the BOYCOTT BENEDICT campaign!

To participate is easy and fun:

1) Don’t go to any papal events while he’s here.
2) Don’t donate to any papal collections — including Peter’s Pence.
3) Have fun and express yourself!

To help with the latter, I hereby announce a contest! I will create artwork for a bumper sticker, coffee mugs, and T-shirts. The person that contributes the best slogan will not only see theirs used, but be sent a FREE product emblazoned with it. This will be determined by popular vote.

Ten slogans have been selected to start. Others will be added. One month from Benedict’s arrival, the winner(s) will be chosen and the items produced.

Comments have been enabled to allow you to submit your slogan or vote. Keep it around 25 characters to fit.

Oh, sorry to disappoint the Catholic curmudgeons out there, but the comments will be moderated, too.

More info on the the campaign and the reasons why here, and a page of scary pics of the Pope, too.

And keep watching this spot for more exciting news!