Balls like Benedict

The Pope today was in Birmingham, England to declare Cardinal John Henry Newman as “blessed”. I don’t know if the day was picked for some significance in his life — it’s neither his birth nor death day — but perhaps it was precisely because of today’s Gospel reading, which Benedict actually referred to in his homily.

The lesson is that “no one can serve two masters (Luke 16:13)”. But it’s always a good idea, I’ve found, to check these things out in context, especially with a tricky guy like Benny. Turns out that verse ends one of the most difficult parables Jesus ever gave.

To recap Luke 16, it’s the Parable of the Shrewd Manager. Basically, a guy’s about to get canned for wasting his boss’ money, so he calls in all the debtors and tells them to change the contract so they only owe half.

So what happens? Does he get thrown in the slammer? No, no, no, just like modern America, he is instead rewarded (but that’s another sermon)!

“The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.” (Luke 16:8-9)

WTF? Did Jesus really just authorized cheating for the sake of the building fund or something? Amazingly, if you work out the language, he then seems to confirm exactly that:

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?

“No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” (Luke 16:10-13)

So seems to this humble exegete that it’s acceptable to steal as long as it goes to the cause? How apt, then, it is for this case. Because the pope is basically stealing a saint, a priest who defected from the Church of England and was rewarded with the red hat for his trouble. And he dares to do it in the Anglican heartland of his childhood enemies.

One thing you gotta admit, Benny definitely has balls like a true pope should!

Here endeth the lesson…

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