Abandoned_Altars

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been doing a lot of historical research for a book about the history of sex and the clergy. Every time I think it’s just about done, something else drops into my lap that simply must be included. This amazing tale, for instance. It’s the latest, but I doubt the last…

One of the most spectacular cases of all time involved a school for poor girls run by nuns in Florence as a prostitution ring and sex cult. The sisters’ highborn and well-educated confessor, Canon Pandolfo Ricasoli, held the ancient heresy that all things are permitted to the pure. The official record says that he taught “that all carnal acts between men and women are not only allowed, but meritorious, if one keeps his mind united with God.” He claimed Christ with the Magdalen, the Virgin with Saint John, all performed these so-called “exercises of purity” together.

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During the Middle Ages, the Inquisition pushed many unacceptable clerical behaviors underground. Black magic in particular was an activity peculiarly suited to fallen priests because it mirrored the “white” magic of sacred liturgy. Plus, during the Middle Ages, only the clerical class had the education, free time, and most of the tools needed at hand. So there in the darkness, heresy, sex, and lingering pagan practices subversively combined into Satanism.

In fact, fallen priests were believed to be the only ones who could perform a Black Mass, the satanic mockery of the Catholic rite. For even defrocked, priests retained their power of transubstantiation given at ordination. Changing the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ thus allowed them to defile God himself.

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People might well wonder: if I have such problems with the hierarchical Church, why do I continue to be a priest, even in a Catholic Church free of the pope?

It’s a good question, and there are no easy answers. This week, I’ll have been a priest for fifteen years, not that it’s resembled any sort of a traditional ministry. Dealing with my own abuse issues and trying to help others with theirs has not left much scope for that, though I’ve performed the entire range of sacramental services.

And the abuse issues have always been a factor, even before I was aware of them. The day of my ordination, a friend asked, “Do I have to call you “father” now?” My unconsidered reply: “Please don’t, because when I hear that word, I look around to see who’s sneaking up on me.”

Talk about clueless, indeed; but I think my answer indicates the real reason. To face my memories, I had to have the same powers as I felt my perpetrator had. The playing field had to be leveled.

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