Why the Pope is to Blame for the Scandals

Pope boycottWith Pope Benedict’s arrival in the US just days away, interest is growing in his role in the clergy sex abuse scandals. A British documentary revives the charges that he led the cover-up.

That is but the tip of the proverbial iceberg, I’m afraid. Recent historical research for a book I’m writing has convinced me that Joseph Ratzinger is largely responsible for the scandals erupting in the first place. And he is directly responsible for their ending. Details can be found here.

That’s right. The scandals are over, folks. You just have not realized it yet.

Why is this important? First of all, they are over because the cover-up is in place even worse than before.

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Was Moses on dope?

MosesAn Israeli scholar says that Moses either saw a “cosmic event” or was high on a psychedelic, probably acacia, which he claims is similar to ayahuasca. Says he himself tried the latter, didn’t say if he saw God, though.

So is that a rational explanation? What were the rest of the Israelites on then when God landed on Mt. Sinai? Curious, I checked out the actual verses (King James version) and to me, it really does sound instead an awful lot like a rocket landing:

16 And it came to pass on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud; so that all the people that was in the camp trembled.

17 And Moses brought forth the people out of the camp to meet with God; and they stood at the nether part of the mount.

18 And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the LORD descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly.

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The Silence of the Cloisters

Ghost NunAn era is ending in Western Christianity.

For better or for worse, a way of life that began in the deserts of Egypt over seventeen hundred years ago is coming to an end. At least, in its Roman Catholic form. It will mean the end of a legacy that extends from the preservation of literacy itself through the Dark Ages to that most terrible instrument of fanaticism, the Inquisition.

The BBC reports that the number of Roman Catholic religious — that is, monks and nuns, brothers and sisters in both cloistered and mendicant communities — declined by a full 10% in just one year. Worse, the numbers of consecrated women, whose ill-paid efforts actually keep the institution running from day to day, declined by no less than 25% while John Paul II was in office.

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Jesus Christ Gnostic Superstar

Jesus Christ Gnostic Superstar
Every Lent, I indulge myself by watching my favorite musical, “Jesus Christ Superstar“, that great rock-opera written by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber way back in 1969.

This year, I was fortunate enough to see it live on stage on Palm Sunday, on its “farewell tour” with Ted Neeley as Jesus. He starred in the 1973 movie version, and at least one of the other stage productions I’ve seen. Even with makeup, he looked pretty long in the tooth for Jesus — and no wonder, since he’s been playing the role longer than the rest of the cast has been alive – not quite so nimble as he used to be, but he could still hit the high notes when the time came. And he certainly has the proper Messianic attitude down pat by now. What the show lacked in Broadway production values, it more than made up with audience affection. People truly love him — he’s had a great run, and I wish him well.

Anyway, I’ve seen more productions than I can count, from the hippie movie to evangelical to a Euro-gothic version with Nazi-like Romans, but this was the first full-blown gnostic production I’ve come across.

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Easter Duty Cheat Sheet

Ever since annual Confession and Holy Communion was made obligatory on all Catholics in 1216, sinners of all stripes have willingly or otherwise dutifully lined up in front of the booths in a yearly ritual to tell the man inside their evil doings.

Penitents are supposed to make an critical and unsparing self-examination of all their sins since the last go around, and try to work up some genuine sorrow. And of course, they are to do afterwards whatever their confessor tells them to do as penance and sin no more… or at least, not until they’ve taken Holy Communion. Otherwise, they’ll be worse off than before.

It’s generally a drag, a spiritual chore like going to the dentist, only even more humiliating than when the assistant asks why you haven’t been flossing.

Well, cheer up, sinners! I’ve been doing quite a bit of research on the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I’m happy to tell you there are a number of absolutely legal shortcuts you can use to make it less of a burden. Yes, with the magic of Roman Catholicism, you too can enjoy both this world AND the next!

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